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poodle lover

margarita enthusiast

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twitter: @sammellaaa

personal blog:

This weekend I spent time with an old friend, witnessed another friend’s engagement, and ate a lot of cheese and drank a lot of wine with more of my friends and my family. Any stress, worry, or fear fell away and I felt infinitely happy well weekend long. I think that’s really important.

There isn’t a week day that goes by that I don’t vocalize the fact that I need ten naps. Not one nap, not two naps…I need ten naps.

I’m just like, really in love with you. Unbearably so. The thought of ever not being yours is unthinkable. I’ve never been so sure of anything, and sometimes that’s scary, but most of the time it isn’t. You are my forever. 

So many things happening. Moving out, turning 23, losing my mind at work (as usual). Life is moving too quickly; my mind is trying desperately to keep up and to be perfectly honest, it’s in overdrive. Forever trying my best to keep my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. I’m just waiting for the hamster wheel that is my brain to pop a quaalude.  

It blows my mind how I just don’t feel the need to get angry anymore. I get upset, I get bummed out, but rarely do I ever feel true anger. It’s like even when I’m unhappy, I’m still happy. I feel like that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’m really not complaining.

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If there’s one thing in this world I’m sure of, it’s the love I have for you.

When everything else feels like it’s crashing down around me, when I’m indifferent, when I’m past my breaking point, when I’m ready to throw my hands up in the air - you are what keeps me going.

So thank you. Thank you for being everything I never even knew I needed. I love you, always and everywhere.

And now it’s all I can think about. Whether or not I’ll actually go through with that thought process is something entirely different, but I’m considering it more than I ever thought I would.

Sometimes when you’re stressed out and broken down and completely bent out of shape, all you need to do is find a pair of arms to wrap yourself up in…preferably the arms of someone who loves you.

All I know is that I love you.

I love you with all the certainty that the sky is blue and the sun is bright.

I love you in your brand new car with the air off and the windows down.

I love you crouched down on the porch as you perfect the cross-pollination of your blueberry plants.

I love you when we take a wrong turn off the highway, taking us 15 miles in the wrong direction and you say it’s okay because you “like this song anyway.”

I love you when politely let nosy strangers know that even though you are 6’8, you do not play basketball, but you do play softball.

I love you when you treat your dog like a prince, when you treat your parents and your sister like they’re royalty, and when you call me your princess.

I love you all the time, in every way, and I’m so happy I can finally say it out loud.

Today is a day that I am just so incredibly thankful to be healthy, alive and loved. I think when stress piles up from work, traffic, money, etc., I forget to breathe. Even though it’s back to the grind in just 18 hours, I’m not letting myself think or stress about tomorrow. I’m not making any plans. I’m taking it all as it comes and it feels so, so good.

All it takes is someone telling you to get out of your own head to cause you to see the light. I’ve never known such a beautiful, down to earth, carefree, dedicated, determined person. I am endlessly happy to be yours and for you to be mine.

It’s so great being surrounded by people who bring out the best in me. People who make me laugh, people who push me to do better, people who believe in me and encourage me. I’ve had such a positive outlook on life lately. I can feel myself pushing out of my comfort zone at work - forcing myself to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a networking event, closing deals, making calls when I have little to no motivation or confidence to do so. I’m pushing myself to meet my fitness goals (no worries, not gonna get all “fitspo” up in here…don’t care enough). I’m pushing myself to not sweat the petty stuff and to not pet the sweaty stuff. It’s a process and I’m no where near perfect but I sure do love the people who help me along the way.